How can Family Therapy Help?

Family therapy, at its core, concerns itself in facilitating more functional communication between family members. The problems that families experience are not seen as stemming from a particular family member, but arising from the way the family functions with each other as a unit.

Most people that I know – even families that have successfully overcome issues in therapy – feel initially very uncomfortable with the idea of family therapy. After all, the usual expectation is that of expressing yourself to people you’ve known for a long time on matters that are already difficult to discuss, let alone taking into account any communication difficulties that may be getting in the way. Another major roadblock is usually the fear of judgement or reprisal.

However, when we get past these obstacles, usually within the first session itself, the general feeling that takes over is that of relief. Relief of having been able to express and unburden oneself, as well as starting on a journey towards rebuilding trust, increased emotional support, and overall resiliency in the family unit.

Another use for family therapy is in renegotiating roles and clarifying expectations with each other. Most people can literally spend years assuming expectations that other family members have about them, when these may not be totally accurate to begin with. Living in a family system with redefined expectations and roles can be a game-changing feeling in itself.

Inherited Family Trauma

Inherited Family Trauma is an area that has been close to heart the more I have been working with families over the years. I first learnt about it through Mark Wolynn’s masterpiece It Didn’t Start With You- How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How To End the Cycle (read more here)

The main basis is that unresolved trauma from previous generations are usually passed down in an attempt for the current generation to resolve them.

In my clinical work with families, I take special care to explore for any possible traumatic imprints that may be presenting themselves as problems such unexplained depression, anxiety, and obsessive thoughts. This usually often leads us to a journey of discovery and reparation that can be deeply transforming for families when they get to honor the sufferings of those that passed by allowing themselves to live their most meaningful lives.